belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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