Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
