How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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