the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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