"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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