So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
