ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
