ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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