I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
