I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
