I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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