Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
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Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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