he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
