There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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