I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
how can u be prego again
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize