turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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