I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
