Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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