Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
