I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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