I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize