we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
