If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
