we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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