Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
