You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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