there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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