There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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