I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
