Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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