I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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