There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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