THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
