i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
