I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think your dad took our porno
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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