is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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