It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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