well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
