i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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