Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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