You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
