People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
