i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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