i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
