Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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