lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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