I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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