"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
