I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.