Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.