I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
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She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"