i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.