Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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(847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u

Replies (221) Good night (2634) Bad night (28606)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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(862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/hfa7

Replies (40) Good night (2268) Bad night (3215)
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(619): View more from California

guys are not supposed to queef...right?

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(619): guys are not supposed to queef...right? http://tfl.nu/p86m

Replies (96) Good night (834) Bad night (7114)
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(319): View more from Iowa

We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"

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(319): We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30" http://tfl.nu/oadk

Replies (9) Good night (6025) Bad night (1116)
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(206): View more from Washington

I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.

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(206): I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/axt4

Replies (1) Good night (2260) Bad night (823)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.

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(513): He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ. http://tfl.nu/zyza

Replies (13) Good night (3425) Bad night (1112)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.

(907): View more from Alaska

I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.

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(907): I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year. (907): I'm going to miss going to the strip club though. http://tfl.nu/ub9e

Replies (2) Good night (1080) Bad night (656)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

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(859): When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs" http://tfl.nu/jaco

Replies (6) Good night (3250) Bad night (1626)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

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(701): I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close. http://tfl.nu/zatr

Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (576)
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(319): View more from Iowa

God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real

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(319): God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real http://tfl.nu/8qp8

Replies (2) Good night (1633) Bad night (465)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.

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(334): Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner. http://tfl.nu/nga8

Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (816)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate

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(306): yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate http://tfl.nu/3igr

Replies (1) Good night (549) Bad night (362)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.

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(610): All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship. http://tfl.nu/y1t2

Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (327)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

I still maintain we were not that drunk......

(810): View more from Michigan

Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!

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(810): Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room. (1-810): I still maintain we were not that drunk...... (810): Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down! http://tfl.nu/mzkd

Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (301)
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(863): View more from Florida

Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.

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(863): Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond. http://tfl.nu/cdum

Replies (6) Good night (632) Bad night (174)

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