Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
