Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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