Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
