i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
