But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
