sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
