I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
