I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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