quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
