Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
