shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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