Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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