their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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