Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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