Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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