Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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